What am I doing here?

By Danielle S Ross

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

― James Baldwin

I often fall asleep to the sound of crickets and wake up to the sound of lawn mowers. But I also fall asleep and wake up to the sound of sirens. I live in Pine Lake, GA.

From my front door, I look left and I see lush green trees lining a sloping street of a residential neighborhood. When I look to my right, I see a few small businesses, a little bit of planned greenery, and at the end of the block, a pawn shop that sells guns and buys gold, a liquor store, a Chinese restaurant, and a motorcycle club. I feel fortunate that I can look either way.

When I wander to the left of my front door, I happily absorb the smells and beautiful trees and greenery that lead down a hill, past the Pine Lake Club House, towards the Beach House and The Lake. I forget about the sirens, the gun shop, and the stresses of everyday life. “This is lovely,” I think. I look at the sweet community art including the pieces I contributed, and I feel a sense of belonging, of community. As I continue down the hill to the small lake, I see the American flag flapping in the bright blue sky. But then jarring realization shatters my dreamlike trance. I realize that people were lynched on the very soil I standing upon. I have not been able to find records of lynchings within Pine Lake, but I know there were “strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees” very close by. The roots of those trees easily intertwine with the trees in Pine Lake.

“What am I doing here?” I ask myself.

When I wander to the right of my front door, up to the liquor store on Rockbridge Road, I’m still in Pine Lake, but I feel like I am walking into a different city, a different world. I walk up the short block and cross the busy section of road that bisects the city between residential and business districts. The business district is unquestionably urban with a combination of grit and friendliness that is common in the Deep South. There is nothing pretentious about this area. You take care of yourself and your friends, family, and neighbors through cooperation and acceptance. I like the grit. I like the honesty. I like the details and how unintentional art emerges from concrete, asphalt, age, and defiance. And again, I feel fortunate to have both nature and urban grit so easily accessible from my front door. I buy my beer at the liquor store and I feel the usual connection with the woman at the cash register. As I walk home, I see the mechanic’s business where I have taken my old car for repair so many times over the years. I remember the last time I was there and I think of my favorite mechanic and it puts a smile on my face. Once again, I feel a sense of community, it’s just a different one from the one to the left of my front door. I admit to myself that one community is mainly people of color, and one is mainly white people. Once again, I am haunted by the horrific history that is buried here and I ask myself,

“What am I doing here?”

Pine Lake, GA made headlines in 1999 because the majority of its budget depended on traffic citations issued on a small section of Rockbridge Road that runs along the edge of town. Since then, Pine Lake reduced its police force and stopped issuing speeding tickets. From 2017 to 2019 about 1/4 of Pine Lake’s budget came from traffic citations. Conveniently, the amount drawn in from traffic tickets is the same amount that pays for Pine Lake’s police force. This small city is similar to many other cities and towns across the state that rely on traffic citations to fund public services. What distinguishes Pine Lake from those cities twofold. First, it is a small, majority-white city nestled within a much larger, majority-Black area of DeKalb County. Second, it proudly touts the title “City of Ethics” that parades it’s open and inclusive values like only repressed white guilt and denial can do. Or wait, is it guilt or just privilege masked as guilt? Whatever, “What am I doing here?!”

As I grapple with what my role might be in this mess, first I try internal twists and turns to squirm my way out of it, but there is no way around it: This is systemic racism playing out at my front door, and I am part of it. And I will remain complicit until I do something to force change. The city made some changes 20 years ago, but we are all still complicit in actively normalizing white supremacy and oppressing Black people, one traffic ticket at a time. “Surely I’m exaggerating,” I think. “There are some really nice people who live here. I have some wonderful neighbors and friends here in Pine Lake. That is one of the best things about living here.” But when I tried to explain to the city leadership that we are a powerful little cog in the huge and grinding system of racism in this country, my message was repeatedly met with denial and deflection. I presented open records data from Pine Lake and all the surrounding cities and neighborhood, well summarized and digestible (I have a PhD in research and worked in public health for a decade. I know how to gather and present data). I volunteered my time and expertise to help with change. Stonewalled.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!”

Some of the responses I have gotten over and over, from city leadership when I have called out systemic racism in Pine Lake, ring in my head. “It’s not racism. It’s just how things are. Other cities do the same thing. That’s just who drives along Rockbridge road. It doesn’t matter if someone is Black or someone is poor, they shouldn’t be driving a car without insurance. It’s a security issue.” (BTW, the majority of traffic tickets are NOT for lack of insurance).

My expectation of a city that labels itself “certified ethical” is to take the lead on issues such as systemic racism, to be a model for other small cities in this country, especially in the deep south. But apparently that is a naive notion.

WHAT. AM. I. DOING. HERE?!

Eco Arts Story. lookback

The Pine Lake Eco Arts camp was a summertime happening for children and parents. The Camp and staff of talented mentors organized a creative learning experience with poetry, nature walks, puppetry and the arts, that served the community for 9 years. Who can forget the song of robust young voices drifting across the lake on humid summer days? ‘We all live in a yellow submarine…’ Yes, we still hear those voices. This is a sad story; how could it be anything else? The Eco Arts camp is gone; a Petrie dish of artistic creativity cast aside. Now it is time to set the record straight; because, there have been a number of misleading statements & rumors regarding the camp. ‘So we sailed up to the sun, Till we found the sea of green…’ First, and foremost, the Eco Arts Summer Camp was funded by the parents of the children who attended the camp. The Camp was not subsidized by the City. A Council person complained in a letter that most of the camp budget went to pay staff; imagine, a City Council person complaining about camp salaries that the City does not pay! The third highest single expense for the camp was the nearly $2000 the camp paid the City for a permit and facility rental; the same Council person called the $300 a week paid by the Camp a ‘pittance’. When you add in the $334 weekly cost of the Permit, the bottom line amount the CamThe Eco-Arts Story paid the City per week was $634; about $125 per day. “And our friends are all on board…Many more of them live next door” The Council inexplicably became convinced that the 3 weeks long camp was somehow keeping the City from a gold mine of income, I guess we could call this the wishful thinking method of governance; because, there is no evidence to suggest the City can command $1500 for a 5 day, during the week, facility rental. “And the band begins to play” The Council adopted a false narrative as a cover for a rental increase that was nothing less than fiscal sabotage of the camp and the parents; who most certainly could not pay for such a cruel increase. The cruelty did not begin with the rental increase; the flimsy fiscal ‘cover’ that the Council concocted needed help; so, a shame based whisper campaign ensued to sully the camp and the reputations of staff and parents who supported the camp. “We all live in a yellow submarine…” The children, the parents, and our community lost a great gift; betrayed by a dysfunctional governing body. Not one council person stood up for the Eco Arts Camp; so, it is not a council that discusses and weighs matters that are important to the community. This is a council that sees itself as subservient to the Mayor’s agenda and not a council in tune with the community. A ‘mayor’ is ’first among equals’, not an autarch; the Council should not be a “rubber stamp” for one person’s flawed agenda. “…yellow submarine, yellow submarine…” With the summer camp gone, we witnessed and unprecedented level of Mayoral participation at kid’s events and a rash of ‘kid’s town halls’ as the Mayor fumbled for a way to blunt the fallout from the Council’s ‘Blue Meanie’ decision. ‘Here, Your Blueness... have some medicine!”

Look back: Pine Lake 2009-2011 The enclave of white privilege gets expensive.

-City Scape. 2009-2011

The Zarus administration. directed most of its energy toward managing special projects, the lake dredging, flood plain reconfiguration, sidewalk.

According to the 2010 Audit, mismanagement of bond funds, Federal State and Local, has left the City $160,000 of debt. The Administration improperly spent from bond funds $160k and must pay the money back.

Management's claim that it was unaware the money would have to be paid back lacks credibility as this is a repeat audit finding. In 2009 management was cited by the auditor for misappropriating $32,075 in bond funds. The following year 2010 management misappropriated $120,885 from bond funds. The 2010 theft was deliberate and kept the City out of default; allowing the administration and Council time to avoid default and keep the police department. The City property tax millage rate tripled over a 3 year period, soaring to 29.5 Mils. During 2011 the Council tapped an environmental fund,100K, in order to keep municipal default at bay. Successive audits reveal a financially dysfunctional City with no cash reserve, severe cash flow problems, and a three year deficit spending record; $60,000 in deficit spending in 2010. Deficit spending violates state law.

Basic and mandated accounting practices were not performed. The City does not have a ledger for each of its individual accounts, a violation of state law; management blames the problem on accounting software. The City's financial records are not adequately transparent. Financial reconciliation of all accounts should, but does not, occur on a monthly basis. If fraud occurs the City would not be able to detect the fraud in a timely manner.

The City does not have a financially sustainable configuration. In the fall of 2010 the Mayor and Council reported that the City had no cash flow and no reserve. The bank would not approve a 50k tax anticipation loan. The city was unable to pay its bills for a 3 month period.

The Auditor recommended that the city discontinue the police services in order to avoid default. The auditor reported that the Council had made unethical requests.

Update: O3/20/2025